Blogging BTS: A Better Way to Think About Networking


As I’ve gotten older and gotten more years of experience in blogging and life under my belt, I’ve come to realize the importance of networking. In fact, I’ve often found myself marveling over the fact that it’s basically the most important aspect of business, blogging, and just getting along in the world. I thought it might be interesting for you guys just to learn some more about how I utterly underestimated and misunderstood networking in the beginning of my blogging “career,” and how I’ve come to realize the importance, nay, necessity of it nowadays – but also why I find it difficult at times!

Blogging is Social!

Here’s the biggest point: virtually every good thing that’s come to me through blogging has come about through networking, something about which I used to be totally and completely clueless. First of all, I’m a very independent person and the solitariness of blogging actually appeals to me in a way. I work with people all day, every day at my regular job (I’m not in an office where I can shut my door), and I enjoy the fact that blogging is something I do on my own. It was a big mindset shift to get out of the idea of blogging as a solitary activity, and start to consider it as actually a very social thing. So many bloggers talk about how blogging is lonely – and it’s like, actually, blogging is really social! There are tons of opportunities to get out there and meet people, and as I’m discussing here, it’s important to embrace that and capitalize on it.

My Mistake

I was really backwards about networking in the past, which is why I wanted to write this post and share what I’ve realized, in hopes that it might help any of you who are in the same boat. When I started blogging, I was actually a lot younger and a lot more naive about life in general. So I would try my hand at “networking,” (not really thinking of it as such), and basically if I didn’t become best friends with the person I asked to coffee, or it didn’t immediately lead to something (either a friendship or an opportunity), I figured, welp, I failed at that! I give up. No more reaching out for me. If I got invited to an event but I didn’t see an immediate benefit to going, I just wouldn’t go (and granted, with a full-time job it is really tough to go to a lot of events, but that’s another story). But anyway, I just didn’t get it. Here’s what I didn’t get:

The Right Way to Think About Networking

You can network and something can come of it pretty immediately, or something can come of it later. Even years down the line, that connection you made or that person you met can turn into something, lead to an opportunity, or become a great friendship. That’s where I was so mistaken, thinking if there wasn’t an immediate “result” from my “networking” that I had somehow failed at it and it wasn’t worth trying. So, so wrong. Every person you meet can turn into a friend that you have a common interest with. If that doesn’t happen, which is totally natural and fine because who hits it off with every single person they meet?, that connection, just meeting, chatting, and giving them your card, can lead to who-knows-what, who-knows-when. You just never know, and that’s honestly the exciting and great thing about networking.

A Few Examples

Here’s one example: my blog redesign. I asked Victoria to coffee when she moved to the city. Later I asked her to do a blog consultation with me. She wasn’t doing them anymore because business-wise it just didn’t make sense for her, but since she had met me previously, she made an exception and did one for me. Which led to my realization that my amateur-ish and outdated blog design was really holding me back in terms of working with brands and growing an audience. That led to us working together on the redesign, which had a hugely positive impact. Had we not had that brunch date, who knows when I would have finally wised up and realized I badly needed a redesign? (I can be pretty clueless sometimes).

I never would have gotten my first DSLR if I hadn’t been communicating with someone from a lifestyle website that asked me to shoot NYC pictures for them (which subsequently fell through, but look – positive came from negative!), or if I hadn’t made a connection with Kate, who shot my home tour. Through events I’ve attended, I’ve met people who have become either great friends or simply great acquaintances – which to me, is honestly equally good. When you make a connection with someone, even if you don’t become best friends, they become a part of your network – and it’s great to have a strong network of like-minded people. I’ve emailed these acquaintances for advice, I’ve shared advice with them, we’ve traded brand contacts – it’s mutually beneficial and just all around a good thing to have a network of people that you’re even casually acquainted with who are in your industry or share your common interests. In addition, I’ve made actual great friends through blogging – which is really nice for me because I don’t have anyone else in my life who shares these same interest and passions.

Even just meeting people who are creative and talented is exciting and gives me a burst of inspiration. Some of the people I’ve met in person or connected with online have wound up being people that I’ve featured on the blog, and without networking, I never would have discovered them and their incredible talent (yesterday’s post being a perfect example). Another one: I attended the domino Showhouse event, which was wonderful – there I met Blair Voltz-Clarke, who was super nice and outgoing – she later invited me to a lovely brunch at her gorgeous apartment, which I was then able to shoot for the blog and which became one of my favorite posts ever – and at that event I met former the editor-in-chief of House Beautiful and several other people who work in that industry. And it’s like, does the EIC of House Beautiful remember who I am? Obviously not. But who cares? The point is, you never know when those connections could turn into something – and if they don’t, so what! You met someone who’s in the industry you’re interested in, had a conversation you’re not going to have with anyone in your regular life, and that can’t be bad.

Tips for Networking (in Real Life and Online)

So, make an effort to go to events (selectively). Talk to people you don’t know, and go up to people you do recognize and strike up a conversation! Be curious. Hand out your business card (you have a business card, right?). One thing I learned from this really great article on networking, which you should definitely read, is to make an effort to connect with people online. You may not live in a big city or a place where tons of bloggers live and events are going on, but it doesn’t matter. You can still network! Leave thoughtful comments on posts you enjoy. Say something on Twitter. Re-post someone’s post. Be consistent! This forges a relationship and connection, and of course the person is going to appreciate your support. I’ve made so many great “virtual” friends through blogging, and it blows my mind that people you’ve never even met can be so incredibly supportive and lovely, and feel like actual real-life friends (Monica, lookin’ at you :).

It Is Worth It (Even When It Feels Hard)

After singing its praises, I have to also own up to that fact that I find networking to be hard for several reasons, some of which maybe you can relate to. The first is, since I work in addition to blogging, I have a very limited amount of time to devote to going to events. And obviously, some events I just can’t go to because of work (I can’t tell you how many things I get invited to that are just smack dab in the middle of a Tuesday or Wednesday). The other reason it’s hard is I’m an introvert, I’m pretty shy when I first meet people, and I am terrible at making small talk. So networking is hard. The point I want to drive home is that it can be hard, it can be inconvenient, it can be uncomfortable, but it can also be so very worth it.

Has networking ever paid off for you, either in a friendship or an opportunity? Do you find it to be difficult or easy? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject!

PS – more Blogging Behind the Scenes posts here.

image by Tim Wright via Unsplash

Leave a Comment

  1. I work in media, so I literally tell people this ALL THE TIME. Networking has had huge benefits for me professionally — it’s how I’ve gotten nearly every job I’ve had. It’s a huge help! I’ve also found that most people are genuinely kind and want to meet people, talk about their career, work, etc. So many people get scared to reach out, but the worst that happens is they say no! The risk is well worth the payoff 🙂

    Published 10.5.16 · Reply
    • York Avenue wrote:

      Such a great point and really helpful to keep that in mind! I know I love when people ask me questions and I can help, so it’s good to remember that others probably feel the same.

      Published 10.5.16 · Reply
  2. JB wrote:

    I personally love networking and meeting new people.However weirdly I find it quite a difficult thing to do as a new blogger. I am based in London and I know lots of private events happening here daily where well established bloggers get invited to, but apart from those do you have any advice of meeting like minded bloggers elsewhere face to face?
    Jb // xx
    Travel, bicycles and style //

    Published 10.5.16 · Reply
    • York Avenue wrote:

      I can totally understand that…I blogged for a long time before I started meeting people and a really long time before I started getting invited to events! Honestly I would try reaching out to strike up friendships with other bloggers, and as far as events go, just keep blogging! It takes time, but eventually you get invited to one thing, then another, and the next thing you know you’re on some PR list (or many), and you’re getting invited to a variety of things. This is a really good question. I’m going to put some thought into how to network as a new blogger and put together a full post on it! xoxo

      Published 10.5.16 · Reply
  3. April wrote:

    Thanks for this post, Jackie. When you were first starting out as a blogger, did you have a “set number” of blogs you followed/commented on, etc.? What I am asking is — did you approach online networking with a plan, or did it happen more organically?

    I’m trying to create a larger audience for my blog. There are several blogs I follow regularly/comment on (and have for years, even when I didn’t have my own blog to promote), but I am wondering if I need to expand my circle and if so, how much time do I need to devote?

    I’m currently living in Kosovo, so online networking is the only kind of networking I can do at the moment …

    Published 10.5.16 · Reply
    • York Avenue wrote:

      Great question. I never went about it with a plan, but it’s a good idea to do so! It certainly can’t hurt. Definitely keep commenting on your favorite blogs, and try communicating on social media as well. Try sharing favorite posts on Twitter too. Expanding your circle is always a great idea. Maybe try visiting, say, five new blogs per week, checking out a post or two, and leaving a genuine comment on something that you enjoy. You might find a new blog to add to your reader and you might strike up a new friendship. How much time you devote to it is a personal choice, and you might devote more time one week and less the next week, but every little bit is helpful I think!

      Published 10.5.16 · Reply
  4. Omg, jackie, I have identified with your posts before, but this one is just exactly how I feel about networking.

    This comes at a perfect time, since I am attending my first networking event next week (C&C) and I’m also an introvert/shy.

    I can also vouch to the benefits of “networking” as in commenting online, since it helped me obtain my current internship.

    Loving all the blogging bts posts!:)

    Published 10.5.16 · Reply
    • York Avenue wrote:

      Love that commenting got you an internship! That’s fantastic. So glad you’re liking the Blogging BTS posts…if you have any questions you’d like me to cover definitely let me know! And have fun at your event 🙂

      Published 10.5.16 · Reply
  5. Dorothy wrote:

    Great post, great ideas, all so true. Thanks for sharing your experience on this topic.

    Published 10.7.16 · Reply
  6. Monica wrote:

    Hehe thanks for the shoutout! It’s crazy to think how networking just online is a whole thing now, vs. years ago, in-person was really the only way to go. Many people seem to still be wrapping their heads around how online friendships aren’t weird, but one of the best parts is not letting yourself get overbooked and burnt out with personal meetings and being able to connect from the comfort of your home 🙂

    Published 10.8.16 · Reply
    • York Avenue wrote:

      Exactly, plus it just opens you up to such a wider range of people that you would never meet without the online connection!

      Published 10.12.16 · Reply
  7. Charlotte wrote:

    Great advice, I definitely had the wrong mindset about networking for a long time too. And I love that you mentioned how hard it can be as an introvert… I feel ya on that one, small talk is such a struggle sometimes!! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    xo Charlotte

    Published 10.10.16 · Reply
    • York Avenue wrote:

      Glad you liked it Charlotte! xo

      Published 10.12.16 · Reply
  8. Absolutely LOVE this! So glad we became “blogging besties!” It’s so helpful to have a supportive friend who “gets it.”

    Published 10.19.16 · Reply
    • York Avenue wrote:

      It’s great to have people who can relate and trade ideas! xox

      Published 10.19.16 · Reply